Wednesday night brought an absolute cloudburst(倾盆大雨) of psychic rain for our parched(干涸的，焦干的) land, as it emerged that Prince Harry and Meghan were reversing their self-styled “freedom flight” to California and returning to live in the UK. Nature is healing(自然正在愈合（网络流行语）)! Is that … is that how the expression goes? Either way, all humans in Britain have taken the announcement brilliantly, while fatted calf(肥牛犊（《圣经》典故）) prices climbed steeply at the news that the reverse Megxit is imminent, with only an adequate headline soubriquet(绰号，诨名) yet to be found. Megain? Megraine?
周三晚间，我们这片干涸的土地迎来了一场心灵之雨的倾盆而下，因为有消息称哈里王子和梅根正在逆转他们自封的“自由飞行”，从加州返回英国定居。自然正在愈合！是……是这么说的吗？无论如何，所有英国人都对这个消息反应热烈，而肥牛犊的价格也因“反向梅根退出”即将到来的消息而急剧攀升，目前只差一个合适的头条绰号。梅根归来？梅根重来？
Inevitably, thoughts turned swiftly to what it all meant. One of the funniest aspects of Meghan and Harry coverage is how their decisions are always analysed as though we were parsing(解析，仔细分析) the 4D chess moves of 19th-century master strategists. We are forever imagining we are dealing with a couple of Bismarcks or Clausewitzes, as opposed to(而不是，与……相对) a resting actor(休息中的演员（失业演员的委婉说法）) and the “chief impact officer(首席影响力官（职位头衔）)” of a firm designed to offer tech-based solutions to men crying in their cars or something.
不可避免地，人们的思绪迅速转向这一切意味着什么。关于梅根和哈里的报道最有趣的一点是，他们的决定总是被分析得仿佛我们在解读19世纪战略大师的4D棋局。我们永远想象自己面对的是俾斯麦或克劳塞维茨之流，而不是一位休息中的演员和一家公司的“首席影响力官”——这家公司旨在为在车里哭泣的男性提供基于技术的解决方案之类的。
And so it is that motive is being obsessively pored over(仔细研究，审视). There’s definitely some eye-catching speculation out there. Some feel that Meghan being willing to step so much as a toe(哪怕踏进一步) on to our toxic shores can only be a way of telegraphing(暗示，泄露) the unfortunate suggestion that the king’s days are numbered(时日无多). Or maybe Harry just wants to spend more time with his £9.5m legal bill. Others have spicier takes(更劲爆的观点). I saw a few horrified Sussex Squad(苏塞克斯小队（梅根粉丝群体）) Americans on social media suggesting that the only conceivable explanation is that Prince Harry is simply a world-beating(世界一流的，举世无双的) god of sex. Allow me to expand. I’m sure the squad diehards won’t mind me projecting their own psychological projections on to Meghan, but the logic seemed comparable to someone saying: “Sorry, so the suggestion is that I move back to live on top of a live volcano, in a plague-ridden failed state, run by psychopathically violent warlords. Who’s asking?”(我确信小队的死忠们不会介意我把他们自己的心理投射到梅根身上，但这个逻辑似乎相当于有人说：“抱歉，所以你的建议是让我搬回活火山上，住在一个瘟疫肆虐、由精神变态的暴力军阀统治的失败国家里。谁在问？”) 1990s-era Keanu Reeves(基努·里维斯（演员）). “BRB(马上回来（网络缩写）) just calling the removal firm.”
因此，动机正被人们痴迷地仔细审视。外面肯定有一些引人注目的猜测。一些人认为，梅根愿意踏上我们这片有毒海岸哪怕一步，只可能是在暗示一个不幸的消息：国王的日子屈指可数了。或者也许哈里只是想多陪陪他那950万英镑的法律账单。其他人则有更辛辣的看法。我在社交媒体上看到一些惊恐的“苏塞克斯小队”美国人，他们认为唯一可能的解释是哈里王子简直是世界级的性爱之神。请允许我展开说说。我相信小队的死忠们不会介意我把他们自己的心理投射到梅根身上，但这个逻辑似乎相当于有人说：“抱歉，所以你的建议是让我搬回一座活火山上，住在一个瘟疫肆虐、由精神变态的暴力军阀统治的失败国家里。谁在问？”1990年代的基努·里维斯。“马上回来，正在打电话给搬家公司。”