My son sent me a picture of his university accommodation, which looked perfectly nice, but there was something off about(有点不对劲) it. It was a little bit too tidy, of course, and had the slightly dystopian(反乌托邦的) atmosphere of a neutral colour palette(色调；调色板), but the main problem was that places look weird without people in them. That’s why architects, when they’re trying to sell a development, always add the magic ingredients: a child with a balloon, a couple pushing a buggy(婴儿车) and a gentleman with a bicycle.
儿子给我发了一张他大学宿舍的照片，看起来相当不错，但总觉得有点不对劲。当然，它有点过于整洁，中性色调的配色带着一丝反乌托邦的气息，但最主要的问题是，没有人的地方看起来很奇怪。这就是为什么建筑师在推销楼盘时，总会加入一些神奇的元素：一个拿着气球的孩子、一对推着婴儿车的夫妇，还有一位骑着自行车的绅士。
So I squinted(眯起眼睛) a bit and tried to imagine my son in that room, which is when it hit me(我突然意识到): he’s actually serious about this. He truly intends, in one month’s time, to get all his stuff, put it in bags, take it to another city and live there. I can neither convey nor explain my surprise, which is bottomless(深不见底的). It’s not that I thought he wouldn’t get the grades; I’m not one of those harridan(泼妇；凶悍的女人) sceptic-parents. I just had “I’m going to university” filed as one of those cute, dumb things kids say, along with “I’m going to space”, “I’m changing my name to Unnamed Being” and “I’m an otter now”.(我只是把“我要上大学”归类为孩子们说的那些可爱又傻气的话，就像“我要去太空”、“我要改名叫‘无名存在’”和“我现在是一只水獭”一样。)
于是我眯起眼睛，试着想象儿子在那间屋子里的样子，这时我突然意识到：他真的是认真的。他确实打算在一个月后收拾好所有东西，装进包里，带去另一座城市，并在那里生活。我无法表达也无法解释我的惊讶，这种惊讶深不见底。并不是我以为他考不出好成绩；我不是那种泼冷水、爱怀疑的家长。我只是把“我要上大学”归类为孩子们说的那些可爱又傻气的话，就像“我要去太空”、“我要改名叫‘无名存在’”和“我现在是一只水獭”一样。
I was right there for the entire process: the selection of the university, the offer, the maths A-level paper that was so hard there was a petition against it on change.org and someone called it a war crime, and results day – when it became apparent that it wasn’t that hard and The Hague wouldn’t be necessary after all.(整个过程我都陪在身边：选大学、收到录取通知、数学A-level考试——那次考试难到有人在change.org上发起请愿，还有人称之为战争罪行——以及放榜日，那时才清楚考试没那么难，海牙国际法庭终究派不上用场了。)
整个过程我都陪在身边：选大学、收到录取通知、数学A-level考试——那次考试难到有人在change.org上发起请愿，还有人称之为战争罪行——以及放榜日，那时才清楚考试没那么难，海牙国际法庭终究派不上用场了。