Not so long ago, Frank Spinelli seemed to have sorted out(解决，整理好) his life. He was happily married, working as a doctor and had a sideline(副业，兼职) writing medical thrillers. He thought he had dealt with the sexual abuse he had suffered as a child – not only had he helped bring the man who groomed and abused him to justice, but also he had written a memoir about it.(他以为自己已经处理好了童年遭受的性侵创伤——不仅帮助将诱骗虐待他的人绳之以法，还写了一本回忆录。) “I felt that I had closure(释怀，了结),” he says. “I had the good fortune of working with some amazing therapists and I believed I had done the work and moved past it and I was a healed person.”
不久前，弗兰克·斯皮内利似乎已经理顺了自己的人生。他婚姻幸福，身为医生，还兼职写医疗惊悚小说。他以为自己已经处理好了童年遭受的性侵创伤——他不仅帮助将那个诱骗并虐待他的人绳之以法，还为此写了一本回忆录。“我觉得自己已经释怀了，”他说，“我有幸与一些出色的治疗师合作，我相信自己已经完成了功课，走过了那段经历，我是一个痊愈的人。”
Little did he know that his recovery was fragile(脆弱的，易碎的). The Covid pandemic took away his routine and structure: “All the external pillars(支柱，支撑) that were tightly holding me together(让我保持完整) – the engagements at the office, the work trips.” Two years earlier, he and his husband had moved from Manhattan to a leafy(绿树成荫的) suburb, from where he is speaking to me over a video call today. He was dealing with uncertainty and felt isolated. “We know one thing about shame: shame breeds(滋生，孕育) in isolation.”
他丝毫不知道自己的康复是脆弱的。新冠疫情夺走了他的日常生活和结构：“所有紧紧支撑着我的外部支柱——办公室的约见、出差。”两年前，他和丈夫从曼哈顿搬到了一个绿树成荫的郊区，今天他就在那里通过视频通话与我交谈。他正应对着不确定性，感到孤立无援。“关于羞耻，我们知道一件事：羞耻在孤立中滋生。”
Spinelli had never had a problem with alcohol before. In the lockdowns, though, he found himself drinking(不知不觉地喝起酒来) more and more. A glass of wine while cooking dinner turned into two; a bottle shared with his husband turned into another. Drinking was no longer something that mainly happened at the weekend, but had blurred(使模糊，使界限不清) into the week. Three months into lockdown, Spinelli’s husband realised it wasn’t doing him any good(对他有任何好处) and decided to stop drinking, but Spinelli continued.
斯皮内利以前从未有过酒精问题。然而在封锁期间，他发现自己喝得越来越多。做晚饭时的一杯酒变成了两杯；与丈夫共享的一瓶变成了另一瓶。饮酒不再主要发生在周末，而是模糊地蔓延到了工作日。封锁三个月后，斯皮内利的丈夫意识到这对他没有好处，决定戒酒，但斯皮内利继续喝。