Once again, it has been a lively week for the Real Housewives of Windsor(《温莎娇妻》：对王室真人秀的戏仿) franchise(系列品牌；特许经营), with Harry and Meghan back in the UK for precisely 12 days before the king fired out a letter(火速发出一封信) via the lord chamberlain(（英国王室内务）内务大臣) on Monday, reminding viewers that the Sussexes are “private citizens” and not to treat them as working royals. You have to say the producers on this unscripted reality show are truly at the top of their game(处于最佳状态；炉火纯青) with these targeted provocation(挑衅；激怒)s. Harry and Meghan duly took the bait(上钩；中计) and issued an intemperately(无节制地；情绪过激地) hurt rejoinder(反驳；回应) – but we’ll get to that in a bit.
对《温莎娇妻》这档真人秀来说，这又是热闹的一周：哈里和梅根回到英国才整整12天，国王就在周一通过内务大臣发出一封信，提醒观众苏塞克斯夫妇只是“普通公民”，不要把他们当作在职王室成员对待。不得不说，这档无剧本真人秀的制片人真是把精准挑事玩到了极致。哈里和梅根果然上钩，发了一篇情绪激动、满是委屈的回应——这个我们稍后再谈。
First, let’s deal with King Charles’s missive(正式信函) to “relevant senior stakeholder(利益相关方)s across government, the military and Lord Lieutenancies(英国各郡的郡督职位体系)”. Ugh. Not to be too aesthetically sensitive, but I think we can all live without the sovereign being reduced to the ghastly(令人反感的；可怕的) language of “relevant senior stakeholders”. What next? Seeking “buy-in(支持；认同)” for ribbon-cutting events(剪彩活动) and referring to posies(小花束) as “high levels of audience engagement(观众互动；受众参与度)”? It does all rather reinforce the idea that the Windsors’ cringe-makingly self-styled(令人尴尬的自封的) “the firm(“公司”：英国王室的绰号)” really is some dreary(沉闷的；乏味的) mid-range company with a wan(苍白无力的) Meet Our Team page on its website, in which Prince William – carefully photographed without a tie – explains that he “enjoys long walks with the dog and is a passionate Aston Villa(阿斯顿维拉：英格兰足球俱乐部) supporter”.
先说说查尔斯国王那封发给“政府、军方及各郡督中相关高级利益相关方”的信。唉。不是我太讲究审美，但我觉得，我们完全可以不必让君主沦落到“相关高级利益相关方”这种令人作呕的官腔里。接下来呢？剪彩活动要“争取支持”，把花束说成“高水平的观众互动”？这一切反倒更坐实了那个令人尴尬的自称——“公司”：温莎家族真像一家沉闷的中端企业，官网上挂着一个苍白无力的“认识我们的团队”页面，威廉王子——精心拍摄、特意不打领带——解释说，他“喜欢带着狗散步，是阿斯顿维拉的忠实球迷”。
Either way, the letter sent on Charles’s behalf was guaranteed to send the plot into overdrive(让剧情进入超速档), much as it does in any Real Housewives franchise when one of the cast sends a cease-and-desist letter(停止侵权函) to one of the others. (An event that basically feels like it can occur weekly.) Typically these letters then become dramatic drivers. Far from suppressing stories(非但没有压住新闻) as supposedly intended, they always end up sparking whole new public debates and plotlines in themselves. This is what happened with the Windsors this week – and, indeed, was always going to happen, given the appearance of a pre-emptive(先发制人的) slapdown(打压；斥责).
无论如何，这封以查尔斯名义发出的信，注定会让剧情进入超速档——就像任何一档《真实主妇》里，某位卡司给另一位发去停止侵权函时那样。（这种事基本感觉每周都会发生。）这类信函通常会变成剧情推进器。它们非但没能像预期那样压住新闻，反而总是自己引爆全新的公共讨论和故事线。温莎家族本周发生的就是这样——而且，鉴于这是一次先发制人的打压，这本来就注定会发生。