Reading the extracts(摘录，节选) from Earl Spencer’s book about his sister Diana, and the king’s two-footed takedown(双脚飞铲式的猛烈抨击) of it, it’s hard to escape the idea that(很难不产生这样的想法) Spencer and the Windsors are just elite content creators now. This entire thing is basically indistinguishable(难以区分的) from a blockbuster(重磅的，大制作的) influencer war, and I honestly won’t be happy till the king puts out a shade TikTok(阴阳怪气的短视频) of him driving round the Sandringham estate(桑德灵厄姆庄园，英国王室私宅) in sunglasses captioned: “Threatening to release the receipts(放出证据实锤) but never actually releasing the receipts … kinda chic(时髦的，别致的).” Soundtrack: Mariah Carey’s Obsessed(玛丽亚·凯莉歌曲《Obsessed》，讽刺跟踪狂).
读了斯宾塞伯爵那本关于姐姐戴安娜的书摘，再读国王对它毫不留情的回击，很难不产生一个念头：斯宾塞和温莎家族如今不过是顶级内容创作者罢了。整件事和一场重量级网红大战几乎毫无区别。说真的，除非国王发一条阴阳怪气的TikTok——他戴着墨镜开车绕桑德灵厄姆庄园兜风，配文是“威胁要放实锤，但永远不放实锤……还挺时髦”——否则我是不会满意的。背景音乐：玛丽亚·凯莉的《Obsessed》。
Meanwhile, perhaps trying to disguise his full descent into the algorithm mines(坠入算法矿井，彻底被流量裹挟), Charles Spencer has started talking like one of those adverts for twee(矫揉造作的，甜腻的) porcelain plates that you used to see in magazine supplements. You know the kind of thing – “these three little kittens are waiting to steal your heart”. Here is the earl on his Diana book, which he has called Swan Song: “At heart, this is a brother’s simple tribute to an extraordinary sister.” Mmm. And simply bound, very simply, into paginated form as a precious, simple keepsake(纪念品) that also functions as one of Penguin Random House(企鹅兰登书屋，全球最大出版集团之一)’s lead titles for autumn and the run-in to Christmas(圣诞前的冲刺期). Favourite charming tribute from today’s serialisation in the Mail? Probably the bit when Diana drags Spencer for lunch in the London restaurant San Lorenzo(伦敦知名意大利餐厅，名人常去之地) to announce: “My husband is in love with his valet(男仆，贴身男侍)”. Nkay.
与此同时，也许是试图掩饰自己已彻底坠入算法矿井，查尔斯·斯宾塞开始像那些杂志增刊里卖矫情瓷盘的老广告一样说话。你知道那种调调——“这三只小猫正等着偷走你的心”。这位伯爵这样介绍他那本名为《天鹅之歌》的戴安娜传记：“说到底，这是一个弟弟对一位非凡姐姐的朴素致敬。”嗯。而且装帧朴素，非常朴素地装订成编了页码的册子，成为一件珍贵而朴素的纪念品，同时还是企鹅兰登书屋秋季及圣诞档的重点书目之一。今天《每日邮报》连载中最“动人”的致敬是哪一段？大概是戴安娜把斯宾塞拽到伦敦圣洛伦索餐厅吃午饭，然后宣布：“我丈夫爱上了他的男仆。”好吧。
But the biggest tea-spill(猛料，爆料) so far has been Spencer’s claim that Charles sounded “giddily(轻飘飘地，晕乎乎地) elated(兴高采烈的) – like a lottery winner” in a phone call to him immediately after Diana’s death, then hissed(低声怒斥，嘶声说): “Rest assured(请放心，尽管放心) … we’ll forget about her soon enough.” Which definitely sounds like the kind of thing a father of two shockingly bereaved children would say if they were the future king character in a book written by someone quite bad at writing.(这听起来确实像一位两个孩子的父亲会说的话——前提是他是一本烂书里那个“未来国王”角色。)
但迄今为止最大的猛料，是斯宾塞声称戴安娜去世后不久，查尔斯在电话里对他说话时“乐得飘飘然——像个中了彩票的人”，随后还低声说：“放心……我们很快就会把她忘掉。”这听起来，确实像一位两个孩子的父亲——而且这两个孩子刚刚惨遭丧母之痛——会说的话，前提是他是一本写得相当糟糕的书里那个“未来国王”角色。