The State of Play inquiry(调查), which is run by the UK House of Commons’ digital, culture, media and sport select committee, recently announced the five areas on which it will focus in 2026-27. One of these is: why are our Eurovision entries so bad? The word used by the chair, Dame Caroline Dinenage(英国保守党议员，委员会主席), was “dismal(惨不忍睹的)”, which is parliamentary speak for(议会用语中的……) “shit”.
由英国下议院数字、文化、媒体和体育特别委员会开展的“现状调查”近日公布了2026至2027年度将重点关注的五个领域。其中之一便是：为什么我们的欧洲歌唱大赛参赛作品这么差？委员会主席卡罗琳·迪宁内奇女爵士用的词是“惨不忍睹”，这是议会用语里的“烂透了”。
The evidence is all around. With the exceptions of Sam Ryder (second in 2022) and Jade Ewen (fifth in 2009), the UK has bumped along the bottom of the table(在榜尾苦苦挣扎) in recent years, coming last in 2021 and 2026, second last in 2023 and 19th and 18th in 2025 and 2024 respectively(分别地). In four of those cases, the artist received no public votes at all.
证据俯拾皆是。除了萨姆·赖德（2022年第二名）和杰德·尤恩（2009年第五名）之外，英国近年来一直在排行榜底部挣扎：2021年和2026年垫底，2023年倒数第二，2025年和2024年分别位列第19和第18。其中四次，歌手连一张公众选票都没拿到。
Mindful that parliamentary inquiries always take roughly 10 times longer than seems reasonable and cost whatever number of pounds they ought to multiplied by a million, I’m going to suggest a couple of sub-categories. Why do all the other countries hate us, irrespective of(不论、不管) the entry?And why do we seem to enjoy it so much that they do? Some of this is about core British values and some of it is about geopolitical(地缘政治的) orientation. Sometimes those things interact in such a white-hot and contradictory way that it’s amazing no one has devised a way to give us minus points.(有时这两者以极其激烈而矛盾的方式相互作用，以至于居然没人想出办法给我们扣分，实在令人称奇。)
考虑到议会调查总是比合理所需的时间长出大约十倍，花费也总是该花的英镑数乘以一百万，我打算建议几个子类别。为什么不管我们派谁参赛，其他国家都讨厌我们？为什么我们似乎还乐见其成？这其中有英国核心价值观的因素，也有地缘政治取向的因素。有时这两者以极其激烈而矛盾的方式相互作用，以至于居然没人想出办法给我们扣分，实在令人称奇。